Monday, August 20, 2012
Don't
Nothing's fine, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
And this is how I feel:
I'm cold and I am shamed
-Natalie Imbruglia
Deep down in the depths of your being, is a very adequately built wall. This wall is made of white marble; innocent, clean and invincible. There are no cracks, for they would prove fatal. It is aptly designed to never crumble, never falter.
Everything you've ever been ashamed of lies quietly and untouched behind this shadowed frame of protection.
I'm not sure I was given the appropriate number of chromosomes because I have never had this wall. In fact, even as a child, I would encourage myself to feel shame.
I'm not a big fan of it now though. It has evolved to infiltrate my every thought, my every movement. It penetrates my every whim to be happy and consumes me like an epidemic.
I have nothing left to say.
I am ashamed of the words already spilt.
xoxo
Olivia
I'm all out of faith
And this is how I feel:
I'm cold and I am shamed
-Natalie Imbruglia
Deep down in the depths of your being, is a very adequately built wall. This wall is made of white marble; innocent, clean and invincible. There are no cracks, for they would prove fatal. It is aptly designed to never crumble, never falter.
Everything you've ever been ashamed of lies quietly and untouched behind this shadowed frame of protection.
I'm not sure I was given the appropriate number of chromosomes because I have never had this wall. In fact, even as a child, I would encourage myself to feel shame.
I'm not a big fan of it now though. It has evolved to infiltrate my every thought, my every movement. It penetrates my every whim to be happy and consumes me like an epidemic.
I have nothing left to say.
I am ashamed of the words already spilt.
xoxo
Olivia
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Invisible Cape
You know how when some adverse incident leaves you in physical pain how you start to automatically think of other circumstances that have left you unpleased?
For instance: you stub your toe and you find your thoughts sounding a little bit like..."HOLY FRIGGEN FRACK THAT HURTS. AND WHY IS THERE ONLY 38 CENTS IN MY CHECKINGS ACCOUNT?!?"
Well this evening in the midst of a catastrophe that involved toothpaste in my eye, I couldn't help but immerse myself in the frustration that is accompanying the rise of my second foundation.
You see, when I was a high school freshman realizing that I was not at all fond of the girl I was growing up to be, I adopted a new motto:
If I can't save myself, God damn it I'm going to save the world.
I'll hold back on the nitty gritty details about inspiration and first steps.
Long story short I built a foundation that sold hand crafted bracelets to benefit pediatric cancer research. It was something I was exorbitantly passionate about long before the ninth grade.
It went surprisingly well it's first couple years and I have a lot of people to thank for that. But when things started to slow down I began to crave something more. Something more personal; closer to home.
And thus I devised the blue prints for a new foundation; an organization that would provide free babysitters to families with children stricken with chronic illness. A 24-hour infrastructure of communal support.
I've since then spent hours patching up this dream with odds and ends that will allow it to thrive. And I just want it to thrive. So badly.
But I'm asking so much out of my volunteers. I need them to drop everything they're doing at a moments notice to relieve some of the stress of these suffering families.
Not many people are willing to do that.
But I'm not done fighting yet.
Not even close.
xoxo
Olivia
"If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme" - Jiminy Cricket (Disney's Pinocchio)
For instance: you stub your toe and you find your thoughts sounding a little bit like..."HOLY FRIGGEN FRACK THAT HURTS. AND WHY IS THERE ONLY 38 CENTS IN MY CHECKINGS ACCOUNT?!?"
Well this evening in the midst of a catastrophe that involved toothpaste in my eye, I couldn't help but immerse myself in the frustration that is accompanying the rise of my second foundation.
You see, when I was a high school freshman realizing that I was not at all fond of the girl I was growing up to be, I adopted a new motto:
If I can't save myself, God damn it I'm going to save the world.
I'll hold back on the nitty gritty details about inspiration and first steps.
Long story short I built a foundation that sold hand crafted bracelets to benefit pediatric cancer research. It was something I was exorbitantly passionate about long before the ninth grade.
It went surprisingly well it's first couple years and I have a lot of people to thank for that. But when things started to slow down I began to crave something more. Something more personal; closer to home.
And thus I devised the blue prints for a new foundation; an organization that would provide free babysitters to families with children stricken with chronic illness. A 24-hour infrastructure of communal support.
I've since then spent hours patching up this dream with odds and ends that will allow it to thrive. And I just want it to thrive. So badly.
But I'm asking so much out of my volunteers. I need them to drop everything they're doing at a moments notice to relieve some of the stress of these suffering families.
Not many people are willing to do that.
But I'm not done fighting yet.
Not even close.
xoxo
Olivia
"If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme" - Jiminy Cricket (Disney's Pinocchio)
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